*Morgan Freeman’s voice erupts from the pitch black oblivion that is your mind* Imagine if you will: We find ourselves in the not-so-quaint town of Foxborough, Massachusetts. There’s a chill in the air, an electric excitement carried on the brisk winter breeze mixed with the squeals and screams of hockey fans all across New England. Zoom in.
Gillette Stadium is looming in the bleak December light, buzzing with both tension and excitement. Here, two teams will meet head to head with a rivalry as cold as ice – a rivalry unmatched by any other in the NHL.
The whistle blows. The crowd goes silent. Puck drops. Chaos ensues.
It’s the 2016 Winter Classic.
How awesome did that just sound?
PRETTY. DAMN. AWESOME. (There, I answered for you. You’re welcome.)
Now that we’ve gotten that taken care of, we can get down to business: Why there should (has to) be a Boston Bruins vs. Montreal Canadien’s Winter Classic in 2016.
Good thing we’ve got your reasons right here *insert wink-face emoji*.
Again. You’re welcome.
Reason #1: Those TV ratings though…
The NHL would literally blow up with ratings (never mind a completely sold out arena). This past year’s Winter Classic (Chicago/Washington) had the lowest ratings so far in terms of a televised WC. None of the most recent match ups have made much sense (mostly consisting of Chicago versus some random Eastern Conference team like what why is that a thing). It wouldn’t just be Boston/Montreal fans watching, either – everyone would want to see it. Boom. Schools would close, businesses would shut down, and it would be shown in town squares! Probably not, but you get the idea.
Reason #2: Ultimate bragging rights
It wouldn’t really matter which team would win (well, actually it would but I digress), both would be able to have bragging rights for having the best Winter Classic in a very long time if not ever. With both rosters stacked with winning Olympic Athletes and incredible players, it’d be a pretty fair fight. How many NHL players can say they played in a Winter Classic in the biggest rivalry in the league? Not. Many.
Reason #3: The fights.
Now I know some fans/members of the league may not be total fans on the whole “fighting” aspect of the game of hockey, but let’s be real. Some of the best fights in hockey history went down between these two teams (never forget Thomas vs. Price). Probably three to five times a period we would see the gloves flying, hear the crowd screaming, and fill with anxiety that our favorite player wouldn’t beat the absolute crap out of the enemy. This. Is. Sparta.
Reason #4: Marchy’s chirping.
We all fill with both such joy and annoyance the second Marchy opens his mouth and starts World War III on center ice, but we love him just the same. You want to cheer him on and punch him in the teeth at the same time to stop being such a shit and shoot the godforsaken puck. #ilymarchand
Reason #5: Beer. Beer everywhere.
Whether you need something to help you cope with the unrelenting anxiety or celebrate afterwards, you can drink copious amount of beer, wine, cheap vodka, bad moonshine, or whatever else your poison might be and it would still be socially acceptable. No matter who your home team is, you’re going to pick which one of these two to win (or else suffer the consequences of other fans). So go ahead, my children. The more you sip, the more you smile.
Reason #6: We get Pierre McGuire commentating!
Reason #7: It’s the goddamn Bruins versus Canadiens.
To be honest, who wouldn’t want to see that? Boston and Montreal hold the top spot in NHL rivalries like, ever. The past few Winter Classic’s that have been held are exciting, sure, but they haven’t had two teams battle it out like these two; don’t kid yourself about this one, the hatred they share goes down into the deepest circle of hell. How would that not be entertaining? The NHL would be going back to its roots – two of the Original Six duking it out the ol’ time hockey way. That’s what it’s all about.